i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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