the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize