Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
