Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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