I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
birth control should be required to get into college
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize