What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
