this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
