I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
