I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
