So drunk its hurt
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
