if only i could text you this smell
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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