It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
