dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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