Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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