i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
