He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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