And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
