I wanna bring you to show and tell
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
