im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so let's talk penis.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
