playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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