We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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