i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
