We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
