Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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