yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
