My nipple is on Facebook.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
