The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
