Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
