Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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