I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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