Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
