A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
