The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
