She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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