I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Randomize
