Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
