Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
