Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
