he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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