Those balls look pretty dangerous.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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