yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
