This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
