I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
