dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I just put wine in my tea
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
