i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
