Me. At least after what I've been through.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
