i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
