these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize