I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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