he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
