this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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