Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
