A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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