its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this will be a night to untag.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize