turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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