i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize