you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
