Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
