i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
