If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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