It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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