Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
