The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
