This is not my ceiling
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
