genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
