Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
