Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
