i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
