If i come over, it means nothing
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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